6-23-04 - Testing...Will this Make it Through Today? 6-19 entry Included

So several days ago, June 19th to be exact, I had a lot to say and tried, unsuccessfully, for several hours to get my thoughts to stick to my Blog... BUT I kept getting server error messages, so glumly saved my post over to my hard drive, in hopes of posting it later.
Several hours later that day: same thing, NO BLOG... :-(

Ah well, trying again today...
Stream of consciousness isn't very effective when servers act up.

Will edit this in a few, IF it goes through....
(big sigh)

Okay, it works... So this entry, below, is for last week (June 19th):

6-19-04 - Beautiful Day but with Heavy Morning Fog

June 19, 2004 AM Pain Log

Wake: 6:15am (hip & left knee pain, lower ext. weakness, stiffness, extreme fatigue) (est. total 4.5 hrs. sleep - woke only 1 time due to pain) Meds: 60mg Celexa & 1 Lasix (a daily) at 6:20am Pain: headache = 1 bodyaches = 4 stiffness =5 nausea = 0 weakness = 7 bm = 1 fatigue = 7 Notes: 2 cups of coffee with sugar/Equal (cutting back on the asp. sweetener)/cream

How new is this? I'm once again putting off getting work done as I write this...
I promised Connie E. I would be able to help her out, for a show she's setting a booth up at, by doing some drawings for her (of Door Country, Wisconsin... lighthouses, sailboats, harbor, bluffs, etc.). I did spend a few hours on locating and saving pictures yesterday. I'm supposed to be manipulating them in Photoshop right now, so I can print them out and do pen and ink drawings from the staged prints... They're to be 'coloring artwork', so she can sell them with plastic mugs that have inserts...the kind kids can color before they slip the paper insert into the lining of the mug...
At one time, the whole project would have taken me two or three hours, tops. Now, I stretch these mini-projects into days and weeks, if ever.
It's the FOG that makes it impossible in the morning for me to do much...thinking is hard enough, but CREATIVE thinking? I wind up only making myself more frustrated and depressed...
I also promised Nash that we would put together a Yard Sale here today...the weather today is to be GREAT (clear and sunny but with a temp high of only 71!), but I'm so sore, stiff and TIRED I am having trouble just sitting here typing, let alone getting dressed, moving boxes around, setting things up outside...

My garden is nice this week... both container roses are in full bloom, yellow and white, about 3 - 4 blooms each and more coming. The red Blaze (climbing) rose is in between right now, as I deadheaded the old blooms last week. New buds forming, though. The Camellias finally started blooming (nice, but not what I expected), and the Morning Glories have arrived. A couple of the Glads out front are getting ready to blossom, and I had to cut back some of the 3 Clematis as they are becoming a monster that threatens to topple their trellis... I wish I could have somehow managed to get the Pergola built on the deck this Spring. Next year....

Yesterday I had more labwork (blood drawn) at the hospital, for the upcoming visit with a new Doc (Benyama?) Tuesday. He'll be giving me injections in my spine (for pain), too. Hoping there'll be some relief there. The ones Dr. Li #1 gave me in Feb or March didn't do anything (long term), but in fact made me worse the week after...
I'll have to check and see if I have another appt with Dr. Li #2 coming up. She was the one who put me on the Lasix, for my spinal/brain pressure. The monster headache is all but gone (just a dull, FULL kind of ache now), but the 'clicking, popping and fizzing' I keep hearing in my head (when I move my head or neck) bothers me TERRIBLY. I've noticed the spasms of 'facial numbness' have not been around this past month, so maybe the Lasix treatment is helping?

Really broke this month, as cash assistance was dropped in May and now we have no money at all coming in. Dad is nearing 80, and has helped me all he can, but it sickens me to have to watch him pay my rent AND utility bills the past couple months... Everything's on disconnect or 90 days past due...
I keep thinking, when I am outside mowing the grass or watering my garden, that maybe I can find a 10 or 15 hour a week job taking care of plants somewhere...but then reality hits: I can't even keep up with my own little garden! The weeds have been unpulled for a month now, and there are bugs eating away at my Petunias and Hollyhocks, and the Rhododendrons are sick and dying. I just don't have the energy 4 out of 7 mornings to even care how to fix those things, so that tells me I'd only make a boss extremely unhappy if I were doing this for a part time job...
Have not heard from my att in several months...know it's about time to give him updates, but I don't even find the strength and energy to gather papers and notes. I wish he'd call me and tell me we have a hearing date (it's been almost a YEAR since our appeal for a hearing on my disability claim)...

Damn, have to get SOMETHING done this morning (besides this)...